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Thursday, October 20, 2011

Negative space

Sometimes I think about all the things I never do. Because I'm too afraid, because it's so easy to convince myself that I can't. I quit before I ever even try.

From big things like looking for a new job (I don't have a bachelors degree, no one would even look at my resume), to small things like monetizing the blog (I'm just a girl in clearance rack leftovers running around with a tripod, I'll never be the next Atlantic-Pacific, who would sponsor me?), I even keep myself from doing fun things like going to see a concert next month (It's on a Wednesday night, no one wants to go with me, driving in New Haven is scary).

The more I think about it, the more I worry, how will I ever become a confident person in control of my life?

And the more I worry, the more I shop. There is a 30% off code for Old Navy that ends today, and some pink capris, a green button down, and leopard tights calling my name...

Negative Space Negative Space Negative Space Negative Space Negative Space
The Rundown
Lace Top NY&Co. - Tank TJMaxx - Skirt Iisli New York - Sandals Onex Joan2 - Pendant Kohls - Bracelets The Cavernous Jewelry Box

65 comments:

Closet Fashionista said...

I love this outfit! And you know I'm exactly the same way...but worse :/
BUT I broke that trend by saying yes to something I never would have done before [a Chanel Master Class on Saturday]...I'm going to try to say yes more often...but its hard XD Well if there's ever a fashion event or something you don't want to go alone to hit me up...maybe I'll be brave too ;)
I hate being scared of everything...GAH!
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/

Veronica said...

I know exactly how you feel!! Ive been having similar thoughts lately. You'll get through it!
~Veronica

PS. Love that top!

laura said...

don't worry-- just DO it! and shop on anyway :) because girl, you have amazing style! I love love love the camel and black combo-- AND that lace top is just gorgeous!

SassyUptownChic said...

Lyddie, you are underestimating your gifts girl. Don't take this lightly. You are beautiful. You have superb style. Your writing is eloquent. I look forward to reading your post each and every day. You have a thing of capturing a reader's attention and bringing them to where you are (example DC). You're an excellent photographer! Those are gifts girl. Another one of my readers does makeup. She's superb at it. She was walking through the mall and a DIOR representative pulled her to the side. They interviewed her and she is now working for them (and not behind the counter either). You never know when opportunity will knock or where this path may take you. I feel there is a reason for everything. I blogged personally for 2 years (for myself). I never thought I would become a fashion blogger! I'm here. It's for a reason. Same for you. It's for a reason. Embrace where you are. Connect with people that can get you to where you want to go. Sometimes that takes thinking out of the box. ((HUG))
http://sassyuptownchic.blogspot.com/

Sarah said...

This top is just great! I love the lace. It is really beautiful.

thequeenofwanderlust.blogspot.com

Saige said...

I am such a worry wart as well. Everyone is just like "calm down, you're going to have a heart attack!" Haha. Shopping is one of the best outlets, in my opion. (;
I really like the skirt in this outfit. And, of course, the lace.

Love,
The deer lady

p.s. Check out my new post if you get a chance. (:

Frannie Pantz said...

Lyddie, you know what? I don't know you in real life and, let's face it, I don't really "know" you on here, but I think that you might be selling yourself short a trite. I know that you feel you are just a clearance rack shopper with a tripod, but you know what? So are the majority of the rest of us here. I mean, if you think about it, big time blogger wise, how many are there that are really big? Like 5? You may not be reimbursed for your time or have a photographer boyfriend or whatever. But you have some of the most gorgeous pictures ever, the cutest dog of all time and you are amoungst the rest of us who can't afford Prada-everything and take our own pictures and don't make a dime on something that feels like a part time job.

You are fabulous. And so is Chloe. ;-)

goodbadnfab said...

I heart your blog! I'm now subscribing to your blog on my google reader!

Please check out my blog when you get a chance.
http://www.goodbadandfab.com
the personal style and fashion musings of a LA fashion lawyer living life in the fab lane

D said...

Great look! Amazing lace top<3

http://www.graylavender.com

Color Standards said...

i love how you paired the nude skirt with the black lace. Fab!
csicolorworld.com

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Dear Lydia, you are a funny lovely lady with great style (and you make your own skirts sometimes-wow!). Not everyone is going to be p.s. I made this. But you have your own voice and can definitely monetize. I haven't really tried
to market myself but still have a few sponsors. You can do it darling!
re: the job thing, keep on trying and setting yourself apart from other candidates (skills and experience) you can get there!

xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living

Ki said...

You are one of the bloggers who inspires me the most - you have a great writing voice, a fab style and fantastic photos! :) Don't talk yourself down, you are a great person!

dina vanessa mercado said...

being confident means loving yourself more than anyone would... if you love youself then surely it would mean trusting your instincts and decisions, believing on your capabilities and leaving your comfort zone by trying out new and different things... you are a great person and beautiful too, i can see it through your pictures... love your outfit so much!!! enjoyed your blog!!! following you now..hope you could visit my blog too... kissess!!!


http://voguelyvan.blogspot.com

ENTER MY INTERNATIONAL GIVEAWAY! WIN A SATCHEL AND FABULOUS ACCESSORIES! HERE'S THE LINK--> http://voguelyvan.blogspot.com/2011/09/september-october-international.html

The Small Fabric Of My Life said...

What a fab shirt.

Style Journey said...

Sometimes trying or doing new things is hard and scary. My husband and I are working on setting up our own business, and I am SCARED to death! But...by taking the risk and the plunge at least I can say that I tried it. I am so unhappy at my place of work that I need to do something! Hopefully you get through what you're going through.

On another note, I love your black lace shirt with khaki skirt. Black and brown/tan look so good together!

Heather

Danielle said...

Anxiety inspired shopping is the story of my life. I been in a similar negative place lately. Remember, you only regret the things you don't do.

Love the lace top!

Anne said...

Aw, I wish you and I lived closer to each other - I would totally go to concerts with you! Especially since we seem to have the same great taste in music :) And as for job hunting, you'll never know if you don't try. I'm looking now too, but I've worked myself into a pretty specific niche in the corporate world that seems impossible to break out of.

But I get shopping as a result of feeling this way. I've been there. Maybe get one of those things from ON instead of all 3?

Nic said...

you will get thru it, trust me! i have been going thru a little funk myself for a while but realized everyone lives life and does things at their own pace. don't give up; things will work themselves out.

you look GREAT and i love the lace!

~nic

Closet Fashionista said...

Mhmm, I have the saved search, but I still search anyway because I get nervous XD And on UK too XDXD GAH! I saw them in my size once but they were $1200...NO WAY XD The 7.5s I found this morning are already gone, ha ha....I was tempted to get them to see if they'd fit but I knew they wouldn't.

JewishGirlBlog said...

Well, I hope the love-fest here has given you a bit of a confidence-related boost. Your goals are all attainable, and you're fabulous, and the world is your oyster, dahling.

Vanessa said...

This is why your blog is successful. You post real things, said with real conviction. It's a wonderful corner of the Internet.
Judging just from the confident way you dress yourself, the impactful way you write and the truly lovely photographs that you take you could do all of these things (get a new job, monetize the blog, go to a concert.)
I'm stuck in a rut myself, but I'm being held down more by sheer laziness than anything else. Maybe it's time I just shake it off and get up and go?

Vanessa said...

Ps. I know a lot of jackholes with college degrees. I'd rather work with an intelligent and professional person regardless of what their diploma says.

Courtney Erin said...

I feel like you are getting such good advice on here already that there's not much more I can contribute other than to say that sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and take a chance. It won't always work but at least you will never regret not trying!

xoxo ~ Courtney
http://sartorialsidelines.com

dotty said...

even though i only know you through your blog, i am confident that you are a very smart person and that it doesn't matter whether or not you have a college degree. you are articulate and witty and (obviously) impeccably dressed. maybe you just need to make tiny steps towards being more adventurous/confident... apply for slightly better jobs or put out a call for blog sponsors.

anyway, i think that you're awesome and that your photography just keeps getting better and better.

Madeline Quaint said...

Don't let jobhunting get you down. In my opinion, if you can't find a job that fits you, create one. You're a wonderful photographer - I'm always blown away by the quality of your pictures - why not try and look for work connected to photography? Have you ever tried submitting pictures to stock photography sites like iStockphoto? I have an aquaintance who lives off his stock pictures, so I know it can work. :)You're a creative, diligent lady with a huge amount of talent and style, I'm sure you could shoot pictures editors would be fighting over for. :)

I'm back to blogging after a long brake - I'm trying to figure out my life as well. Good luck! :)

Beckerman Girls said...

LOVE LOVE LOVE your styling! That necklace is off the charts hottt!! And you have the most gorgeous hair!
Happy Friday babe!
Mwah,
Big kiss,
Beckerman sistas
www.BeckermanBitePlate.com

Silver Strands said...

Interesting post, Liddie, given my post today. It's an interesting place to be: having many dreams and desires, yet getting over the fear and making the time for them. Good thoughts headed your way!
oxoxo
Denalee

Amber Blue Bird said...

driving in new haven is scary and as is walking and dining outside BUT sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go for it. Hope you garner up your courage and start going after what you really want! (like maybe taking more classes in photography, you have a talent for that)

Lab geek said...

I can relate to the concert part. I love live music but I used to keep myself from going to shows because noone would come with me. Here is how I have gotten over this, maybe it can help you o rmaybe not. There is an awesome concert hall in my town that happens to be a non profit that uses a lot of volunteers. So I started doing that, you volunteer for half the show and you get to see the rest of the show, and trust me it's then perfectly fine to be alone. After doing this for a while, I realized that i was fine going to shows on my own. I hope this can help you, live music is one of life greatest pleasure!

Piper Alexander said...

I have different reasons behind my shopping addiction, but I'm trying to keep it under wraps. Not to be a bad influence, but those pants and button down @ Old Navy are awesome, and you need to have them. (Maybe that's me shopping vicariously through you.)

I can't wait to see you in the teal/brown skirt from H&M (I got the black/white one) and I'm jealous that you got the horse blouse. They only had XS at my H&M :(

One Girl said...

I hear ya - I don't have one either and can't get another job even if I wanted to. BUT! At least you are having fun w/ your blog right? I was drooling over that button down from ON too!!

Liz said...

We all have our times of self doubt and that is totally ok and normal. I would suggest that you use these feelings to fuel up your goals instead of letting them get you down. This is my first time visiting your blog and I’m happy to see how transparent you are. I prefer to follow blogs with affordable clothes because otherwise it’s the same as just looking at a magazine full of things I will never be able to afford (or would dare to spend that much money on). The blogging world needs more honest people that are not just “perfect” all the time.
I’m loving your style so keep going!! :)

The Closet Shopper said...

This outfit is great! I love it.

I'm just like you. I worry and keep myself from doing things. I support you. I think you should do all of it. And since you talked about it, maybe that will take some of it's power away. You know?

Sending you strength from my big thighs. Maybe that will help.

xo,
Tracy

Sarah said...

We could be anxiety-twins. You should do all of that stuff anyway. Maybe it will help you worry less about other things in the future if you have fun doing them.

Shey said...

I love your honesty, never trying to portray this "perfect life" that a lot of bloggers try to portray in their blogs, I'm with you girl, I'm the same way, but honestly I think you do very well and I'm sure there would be people who'd love to sponsor you, however to be honest I like that you blog is not full of giveaway this and sponsor that every week, it's a turn off for me, I don't like blogs that have more posts about giveaways and showcasing their sponsors, that's just me. You're a great blogger Lyddie. =)

StyleIDnet said...

Haha, I read you and I hear me. It used to be different on my teenage years and I'd like to recover a little of that fearless heart .... I guess it is just possible by actually doing what I really want to regardless of the end result.
I adore your shirt, totally gorgeous, also, love the necklace.

http://styleidnet.blogspot.com/
http://styleidcloset.blogspot.com/

DaniellaBella said...

Thinking about all the things that you'll never be makes you forget all the wonderful things that you already are. I think you're an inspiration. And I think that sometimes it's better to try and potentially fail then always be wandering what it! We believe in you!!

geetabix said...

Lyddie, I was shocked to read your post because this is one of my favourite fashion blogs and you are clearly an awesome writer. I'm not sure what line of work you're in, but if it's not communications, I think that's something you should consider!

I'm sure you could monetize this blog if you wanted to. You post regularly, your posts are always interesting, and your photos are outstanding. I NEVER think you're just a girl in clearance rack leftovers.

I also don't think you should let your "lack of" (aka "freedom from") a degree stand in your way. OK, maybe you don't want to just wing it with neurosurgery, but a lot of jobs mostly require enthusiasm and a willingness to learn. I am often excited to work with people whose thinking isn't stuck in the mold that they were taught in university. Two of the most successful people in my workplace did not attend university - they had a positive attitude and were able to pick up the rest. You are articulate, creative and obviously very intelligent, so PLEASE don't sell yourself short.

Marie said...

How cute is that necklace with the top?:D

You run a fabulous blog. You can definitely monetize Chic on the Cheap! There are a lot of online clothing stores that buy banner ad spaces from fashion bloggers like you.:D

***** Marie *****
allthingsmarie.com

Style Diaries said...

i so love the outfit, simply stunning

kris said...

Live in the moment.

Say yes to the unexpected.

Take every drop of confidence you exude in your photographs, bottle it up, and take a big swig.

You are a capable young woman!

Shen Dove said...

We all get into those negative loops of thinking, but sometimes you just have to face that fear. It's scary, but you'll feel so proud of yourself in the long run!

Btw, I love that top!

monica said...

stay positive sweetie! and yes, shopping solves all problems (which is why im always broke)

Alex Elizabeth said...

I think you should definitely think about monetizing the blog. You can do it! I can't believe how long you were able to go about in sandals... I just couldn't do it. But on the bright side I managed to avoid tights again last night!

Chelsea Lane said...

that top is AMAZING -- love how you styled it! such cute photos!

xoxo

wardrobeexperience said...

amazing lace blouse! looks so vintage!

and i love the layering from your last post. great!

http://wardrobexperience.blogspot.com

Shea said...

Wow, I can totally relate. To both the shopping and the fears. But, I have no doubts that you would be able to get sponsors for your blog--you have great style and take beautiful photos! You should go for it!

Meanz Chan (Koi Story) said...

That lace top is fabulous and I just adore your taupe skirt and that necklace! Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

heather said...

lydia, when i read negative space, i just kept thinking about white space at first, ya know? like in pagination, let everything on the page breathe. and it sure does sound like it applies to your head space too! like give all your thoughts breathing room. when i say thoughts, i mean the idea ones, that say: hmmm, maybe i should monetize, or maybe i should send out my resume. we ALL go through the worry part. it's our noisy brains. but worrying doesn't give anything else any time to breathe. it crowds the light and darkens it up, which is what causes anxiety. (i wish i could follow my own advice sometimes.) it's hard but always better to err on the side of doin' it! :) i'm not sure what kind of job you are doing, but maybe the fact that you have a blog and understand social networking can actually help you find a job that's closer to what you want!

i hope you are having a wonderful weekend!

styleroulette said...

The top is absolutely gorgeous!

xoxo
style roulette

Krystal said...

that blouse is SO SO pretty.

Fashion Tales.... said...

Oh dear, confidence doesn't happen overnight, but trying new things although scary at first can be worthwhile in the end sometimes.
*When we try at something whether we achieve our wanted results or not, it's better than wondering... don't worry we have all been there... we are human. Have a great weekend.

I love the lace top very much. -xx

Ren said...

I love the lace top! Your blog is one of my favorites, because your sense of style is so amazing. :)


I have a new post on my blog with pictures from a mini fall RTW collection I designed. If you have a minute, stop by and tell me what you think!

Stay Beautiful,
Ren,
http://rosesarerenfashion.blogspot.com/2011/10/my-first-runway-show_6626.html

Mademoiselle Frou-Frou said...

That lace top is so cute! Love the way you styled it with the necklace and bangles.

xoxo

FashionJazz said...

Go for it babe : )

Love ur top! Xx

FashionJazz said...

Go for it babe : )

Love ur top! Xx

Yara Simón said...

I've decided that the rest of this year is a not going to be filled with negative thoughts. I want to start the new year right, so I'm working to be better now and hopefully, I'll enjoy the results soon.

Shey said...

Just stopping to say hi, I had a tough week this week, anyways I hope you are doing well Lyddie, keep doing the great blog posts you do. =)

Kirstin@CrimsonRosella said...

I think being a clearance rack shopper takes talent, it takes one to know one! I am at this point in my life too and attempting to face my fears. It is just SO hard.

These quotes have been getting me through it though,
"The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing and becomes nothing- he may avoid suffering & sorrow but he simply can't learn & feel & change & grow & love & live."

"If nothing changes, nothing changes."

My love, you are an amazing blogger! You can do anything!

Lorena said...

Sometimes I have these thoughts too.
But then again, WHAT IS the worst that could happen ?
You don't get the job and you don't get the sponsors.
Now, what is THE BEST that could happen ?
There the answer is infinite.... endless.
AND after reading your blog for over a year, well I am most certain that it is most likely that THE BEST happens.
Remember you have followers for a reason, we all identify with you and connect with you at different levels, don't underestimate yourself.

smalltownbigwardrobe said...

Hi Lydia - thank you for your honesty! I just want you to know you're not alone - I worry ALL the time, and I think I've noticed there's a definite uptick in my shopping the more I worry. It's scary, being older and (more) responsible for everything. I just really appreciate you putting yourself out there, because I know I can relate to everything you're saying, and I hope if you do doubt yourself, you remember how talented you are! I have just spent the last 30 mins reading posts of yours - I love your blog so much!

Nnenna said...

Oh I struggle with confidence all the time, but sometimes you just have to push yourself to try something out of your comfort zone. It's definitely scary but the results may surprise you! :)

starcrossedsmile knits
star-crossed smile

this free bird said...

Lyddie this may very well be my favorite of all the posts you've ever done and there are a lot I've really loved. I've read and re-read this since you posted and sat on my thoughts.

What I've noticed this past year are the bloggers with the most money to spend on clothing getting the most sponsors/attention. I don't get that. Anyone can take a wallet full of credit cards around the mall and load up on brands. That's not necessarily an ability to be creative with style.

I love to visit your blog because you work with what you've got and you find seriously good jackpots. I'm surprised TJMaxx/Marshall's haven't approached you because you got me shopping there and I can't be the only one. I say keep doing what you're doing.

And keep pushing yourself, too. I'm the same way sometimes: if someone can't go somewhere with me I don't want to go alone. Or I just have self-doubt that holds me back from doing things, but you know what? When I push myself out there I'm always glad I did. It bolsters self-confidence.

You go girl! You look great, your blog is super creative and the sky's the limit.

xoxo,
C

Mochachocolata Rita said...

I'm in the same boat as you...so many things I think I can't do and I always ended up saying no. I am also shy and very awkward in social gatherings, which makes things even worse. We need to get over ourselves together. Let's do it. Let's say yes and do new things!

Mrs. J said...

I'm super late on my comment, but we all have a little bit of negative space in our heads/lives. I know exactly how you feel sometimes I find the bad in a positive situation before I see the good. In order to really live life you have to dive in head first. Take the good with the bad and appreciate every moment.

Don't stop yourself from enjoying every moment!! Be blessed! ;)